It’s taken me a long time to be able to formulate my thoughts on this topic. Mainly because I didn’t want to offend anyone on the Internet (but it’s the Internet so I probably still will). But stick with me. I think it’s important.
I have this friend, for posterity’s sake, let’s call him ‘Greg’. Greg is generally a good guy; he’s got his ups and downs, pessimistic moments, busy days. For the most part he is a good, normal, likeable guy. So one day I happen to drop by Facebook and I see that Greg has posted this long, rambling, slightly interesting post about that top 99 inspiring quotes thing that was going around. (Here’s one that I found interesting (mostly because I couldn’t find the original one): http://all-that-is-interesting.com/interesting-quotes#1 ).
I got through the post and began to think about it. Sure we as a society probably shouldn’t put as much stock in famous quotes by famous people. But they’re interesting. I think it’s important to see that people can make a difference.
However, my biggest problem with this was the idea that Greg was presenting. He is presenting the idea that many cynical Americans are starting to believe. And that idea is that “Perhaps reality is right and I am nothing special.”
Which is utter bullshit. You are a beautiful wonderful snowflake and I love you!
And cue the Internet chiming in: Reality is a bitch, you shouldn’t perpetuate the idea that everyone is going to make something of themselves, blah blah blah.
Here’s my response to those people. FUCK OFF.
My chosen path in life is to make me happy. If that upsets other people it’s not their business. I love writing, reading, being a generally good person, helping out that fellow who doesn’t have quite enough cash to cover the milk he’s buying. I have an actual job, it’s a pretty decent job. But it’s also the job that “reality” wants me to have. It’s not what I want to do, but it’ll help me get there. I believe that every single person can do what they want, no matter what. If you start to listen to those people that are going to tell you that you can’t because of the “hundred, a thousand, a million souls who failed” it’ll really take it’s toll on you. You can only hear “Oh You’re gonna fail” so many times before you start to believe it and then succumb to the life that may not make you entirely happy but will keep you safe.
If it’s important enough to you, then you’ll find a way to make it happen. The Internet is a great resource for that. Look at John and Hank Green. The VlogBrothers. They are a prime example of doing something they love and becoming successful. Just because they did what they love and made them happy, not because they wanted to be famous. I can list hundreds of people who do what they love because they love it, not looking for the limelight or the paparazzi.
Isn’t that what is really important in life? To be happy?
And if anyone tells you that you are wrong or that something is wrong with what you want, tell them to fuck off. Because guess what? The only person that will truly understand what you are feeling is you, you are the only person who is ever going to experience your experiences. And I’m not trying to be inspirational. I’m the person who has people tell me constantly that I won’t make it, it’s not worth it, just get a job, you need to support yourself. And to be truly honest, the whole-real-world-job-thing never felt comfortable. Sitting in a cubical? Not my thing! Math? Please, God, no. But I’m still a smart person. I just don’t fit in in mathematical, business driven, crazy capitalistic world we live in. My mind and my heart are more attuned to the more creative side of things. And let’s face it, reality, doesn’t like those things.
This idea that “Reality and this real world is inspiring” is not my ideal world. That sounds painful. Take a hard look at reality. People die, people lose things (life, love, friendship), there’s war, heartache, terrorists. If I want to create a reality for myself that makes me happy, what’s so wrong with that? I wouldn’t blame people for trying not to focus on reality, or even better change it. As long as you don’t complain about the way the world is and then do nothing.
Obviousy there’s people that still have hardship and pain and there’s very little most of are going to be able to do about it. But isn’t just complaining about how bad it is just as bad? Didn’t the Dali Lama say if you can’t help, at least don’t hurt the world. That’s what I want to do. Help the world, change the culture. So that other people can find what makes them happy.
And if it’s your dream to be a mom and live a normal life and have a job and a husband, that’s fantastic! We need moms in this world! They’re some of the best people in the world. I wouldn’t be who I am today without my mom. If your dream is to live a normal life, and it makes you happy, do it. But don’t tell other people they are wrong for taking the risks that they take.
And right now I’m two months from making either the biggest mistake of my life or the best decision in the world. And you know what?
It feels pretty fucking good to be able to take this big of a risk and live a wholly unusual, fantastic life because I know what makes me happy and it doesn’t matter if they disagree or disapprove because I don’t care. I’ll be doing what I love, and what makes me happy, and they will still be sitting where they are criticizing me and wishing their life were better because they don’t know how to make themselves happy.
So go be you! And what ever that entails, whether it’s becoming famous or being the best fucking mom in the world!!